Since an underwear bomber set fire to himself on a Delta-Northwest flight approaching Detroit from Amsterdam, new security hurdles are being thrown in the paths of fliers. In many cases the measures are ridiculously ineffective, in others they treat all passengers as potential criminals. New scanners are installed that strip them bare, hand luggage shall no longer be allowed in the cabin, passengers must remain seated for one our before touch down. I have a much better idea. After passing the security checkpoint every flier should be hand cuffed, and chained to the seat on the plane.
We don´t need handcuffs nor scanners. Nor operating staff nor soldiers with machine guns. People are used to be naked. As a child, in hospital and taking a sauna, which is normally without clothes. So let the air passengers go naked through passport control directly to the airplane. As that is their main job since ever, cabin crew will hand out packs of newspapers to the people, which you may use as covering as they do beneath bridges and in front of warehouses. Consequently the cabin´s temperature mustn´t be increased. What is good for the world´s climate. Where do you get your clothes back? Needless to say: At the luggage reclaim. And who cares for the springling of aroma-infused water on hot stones? This is only requested at german domestic flights, foreigners don´t know this strange habit. Why do you know this, Constantin? Because there is no english translation of the german word “Aufguss”.
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