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Friday, February 25, 2011

Better

"It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not."
André Gide

4 comments:

  1. It is best to be loved for what you really are.

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  2. Who is loved for what he really is?

    “The colour of truth is gray”
    André Gide

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  3. Great quote, full of courage and vigour. It is very frustrating to be always misunderstood and to remain invisible. The need of a witness is the most human need. An enemy who understands us can therefore make us feel less lonely than a friend who adores us by mistake.

    But if we are hated continuously for what we are, then we will be happy, if there is someone who loves us at least for what we are not. Gide's statement therefore can be an incouraging motto in a temporary situation when we have to affirm our intimate being. But it is not believable as a dictum apt for a long lasting period or as long as our life.

    The best would be to be loved for what we really are. But who can know us completely? and do we really have only qualities which can be loved? The best is to be loved anyway. The greatest luck is if someone sees within us (or believes to see?) something enchanting, miraculous (which we may not see ourselves even) and loves us anyway, like mothers love their children, those mothers, who know us best, see our essential miracle at least partly, but love us misunderstanding and "misknowing" us and so often love us for something we are not and sometimes do not love us for something they believe we are, but we are not. The need for love and for a witness are both strong. The second can make us depart from a person who loves us, even if the person loves us generously and not possessivly, while birds of a feather flock together. So at the end Tanja is right: the best is to be loved AND understood.

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  4. @cs

    Yes, that is what I was trying to say. Your comment wasn't there yet, when I started to write.

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