“Darkness at Noon”, Arthur Koestler's book on the Stalinist coercion, changed my father's life. After he read it in the late 40's, he broke with the communist party in which he, a fervent anti-fascist, had seen the promise of a new beginning after World War II. I was only six or seven then, but I understood that Arthur Koestler was someone to be respected. Only much later I've learned that my father's hero was an assh... well, he was repugnant. He bullied and raped women, refused to meet his illegitimate daughter, beat his wives (one of which committed suicide). When he was drunk he threw chairs in restaurants and started fights with bystanders. It was easy for him to change his opinions, because the only thing he believed in was his supreme intelligence My father knew and understood that Koestler became a fierce anti-communist, but had no idea that he was paid by the C.I.A. He was a Hungarian jew, but refused any public support for either the Hungarian uprising of 1956 or Israel in the 1967 war. His often demonstrated concern about "humanity" was a thin disguise of his general contempt of humans. Understandably he was contemptuous even of himself. He realized that he was "admired for my brains and detested for my character."